Not my will…

What a difference a year makes!

I hate saying things like that as it is so cliche, however as I saw 2012 start in the same fashion as I have nearly every new year since college (at a friend’s house playing cards!), I had to sit back for a moment and marvel at how different my life is today than it was a year ago, and how amazing God and His plans are for my life!

A year ago, I was in an unloving marriage (one I later realized was much more toxic than I could ever have imagined), struggling to remember the amazing person God had created me to be.  I looked to God for what He could give me and forgot that, even in the midst of the darkest night, He has already given me more than I would ever deserve in this life through His gift of salvation.  As my marriage began to unravel, I prayed every day that God would be at work in my marriage, saving it and bringing us to “happy ever after.”  I followed all the “rules” on how to pray in order to increase the chance that God would hear and answer my prayers, and yet I got nothing.  I heard nothing.  I felt nothing.  While my faith never wavered, I just couldn’t understand why God was being silent and things weren’t turning around as I thought they should.

“We can make our plans, but the Lord determines our steps.”  Proverbs 16:9 (NLT)

Perfect!  This was the ammunition I needed!  I knew how I wanted my life to play out and was praying for that, but according to this verse God would determine my steps.  Rather than pray for God to do specific things, I simply asked for the outcome I wanted and then gave the “how” over to Him.  I prayed every day hoping that God would hear me and answer my prayers.  I prayed in the morning before I got out of bed, in the shower, during my drive into work, throughout the workday, before I fell asleep, and many more times throughout the day.  If I had a few spare moments throughout the day, I prayed.  Over and over again I asked for God to give me the future I wanted, and to be honest I was getting emotionally exhausted from wishing and praying for this thing to happen and without getting the response I wanted (or any response actually).  God then stepped in and quietly pointed me to another verse: 

“Be still, and know that I am God!”  Psalm 46:10a (NLT)

In those eight simple words, God assured me that He had heard all of my prayers and was waiting for me to turn everything over to Him.  I professed a faith in Him and His awesome power; I now needed to live it out.  Praying for something is never a bad thing, however I became so compulsive about praying that I drowned out God’s soft voice responding to my prayers!  (The Bible is full of stories about God speaking in grandeur ways, however I believe He also likes to reach us in much simpler ways.)  So for the next while I *tried* to stay quiet and see/feel/hear God in my life.  Slowly through this period, God reminded me there is more to praying to Him than just putting a request out there and waiting for Him to make it happen.  It’s great to place our requests before Him, however there is am important step I was missing. 

“Trust in the Lord with all your heart; do not depend on your own understanding.  Seek his will in all you do, and he will show you which path to take.”  Proverbs 3:5-6 (NLT)

It never dawned on me that His will for my marriage and future would be different than mine.  God hates divorce… why in the world would He not do everything in His power to keep a divorce from occuring?!  But I started to trust that He must know something I didn’t and I changed my prayers for God to simply lead me on the path He wanted for me. 

“Father, if you are willing, please take this cup of suffering away from me.  Yet I want your will to be done, not mine.”  Luke 22:42 (NLT) 

As I mentioned at the start, it is amazing how much can change in just a year.  Soon after I changed what I prayed for, I was flooded with the peace of God.  Over the next several months, He opened up my eyes to the truth that I had been missing because I was too busy ignoring everything around me and just praying for what I wanted.  He took this truth and applied it to a new path for my life that He had planned out, and this path is something so much more amazing than I could have possibly conceived of on my own (more on this to come in future posts!).  God powerfully showed me the importance of seeking Him and His will for our lives, as we never know what God has up His sleeves!  Don’t think that you have the best idea, as there will always be someone smarter, with more foresight, and more love for you than you can ever have yourself (and that someone is God!)!

Witnessing with everyday life

A funny thing has happened to me, over and over again, in the most unlikely of circumstances.

When my marriage first ended, I was embarrassed.  Here I was … a Christian woman married to a man who believed the ministry was the calling for his future and I couldn’t keep my marriage together.  Everyday I would see other couples who seemed to have more going against them than for them, however I was the one facing divorce.  (Jealousy is never an attractive outfit to put on, but it is just one of the many emotions I felt – and asked God’s forgiveness for – through this process.)

Once I got over the shock of my marriage ending, I started talking to people … family, friends, pastors, a counselor, coworkers – anyone who was willing to hear what I had to say (this was the first time I went to a counselor, however I highly recommend seeking professional advice when people are faced with and drowning in the garbage life throws at us!).  I talked to people because I needed to sort through my thoughts and what had happened in an attempt to gain some perspective on what broke.  These talks, which I embarked on as a way to work through the healing process in myself, also served a greater purpose for our God and His kingdom.

“Let your light shine before men in such a way that they may see your good works, and glorify your Father who is in heaven.”  Matthew 5:16 (NASB)

Just like every marriage has its own formula to make it work, I learned that every divorce has its own formula of what caused the failure.  At first, I felt like I was setting a bad example for Christ and the different way we, as Christians, are supposed to live our lives since I was heading down the divorce path.  I was always quick to point out to others that I took my vows very seriously as I didn’t want it to be assumed I was taking this decision to divorce lightly.  But as I continued to have conversations and more things came out in the open, something amazing happened as God stepped in.  Rather than pointing out my failure at walking the Christian walk and keeping my vow “until death,” people pointed out the Christian walk I had walked by loving and standing by my husband for all those years when he wasn’t loving me back.  I stood by him until such time that I realized he was demoralizing me and trying to take away my value as a human being.

“I have fought the good fight, I have finished the course, I have kept the faith.”  2 Timothy 4:7 (NASB)

This is how I felt when I finally divorced my husband.  Many have said how proud they are of me, which was nearly impossible for me to believe and understand at first.  Where I saw worldly failure, others saw God’s servant trying to live for Him.  That’s one of the great things that has come out of this thanks to our Awesome God.  While I was afraid of what my divorce would do to my witnessing to the small group of people I interact with, God used this for His glory to highlight how off course life can go when He is not the center of everything.  I was living my life the best I knew how, and God found a way to make me a witness for Him to others.  God often chooses the most unlikely of people and circumstances to do His work in this world, and I am thankful that God saw my experience as a way to speak to others.  I realize now more than ever just how many people are watching us and see what happens in our lives, and how important it is to ensure we are living everyday as God would have us live!  We never know who we might be witnessing to everyday by just living our lives!

Here am I, Lord

After all the years I’ve been a Christian, I don’t know why I am still surprised by how God works, but He finds new and exciting ways to get my attention everyday.

“I was/am your best chance at doing something significant with your life for God.”

Those were some of the last words I heard from my ex-husband.  Even though I knew it was untrue the moment he said it, the statement has stayed with me.  This is where God stepped in!

As I mentioned previously, I have spent a great deal analyzing (both by myself as well as with other individuals) the course my marriage took, and have learned a great deal from this process.  Love was not freely given to me in my marriage, and at times the lack of love became so extreme that it made me question my value as a person and wife.  I am ashamed that I put up with this treatment for as long as I did, however at the same time I am thankful that this was as bad as it got before the marriage ended, and that I got out when I did.  Some people are not so fortunate.  While the scars he left are very real, they are nothing compared to the scars other people deal with on a daily basis.  It is because of this realization that I felt called to help others in situations similar to my own.  Before my divorce was even finalized, God was at work connecting me to people who I can serve because of these experiences.  While I have only been involved with this group for a short time, I know that I have already witnessed to people, making a positive change in their lives through encouraging words and pointing them to the perfect love of our Lord.  This is one of those times when God is using lemons to make lemonade!  (Due to the sensitive nature of the people and situations I am working with, I  feel at this time it is best to not name the group here.)

God didn’t stop there!

I attended church with my ex-husband for the majority of our marriage, thus when that ended I was in need of a church of my own.  God again quickly answered this need, and by highlighting and connecting a variety of unrelated facets of a particular congregation as only God could do, He brought me to my new church home.  Here, not only have I found acceptance for being the sinner I am, but I have also received an open invitation to get involved as little or as much as I desire.  It did not take long for God to put me to work once I raised my hand to Him!  I am very Type-A, and thus love having order to things.  This past weekend was the church’s annual drive to stock the food pantry.  When I walked into the church to drop off some groceries, what I saw was almost more than I could bear: row upon row of bags of groceries and toiletry items waiting to be separated, sorted and put away.  As much as I wanted to simply drop my bags and carry on with my day, God knows me (of course He does – He created me!) and knew I wouldn’t be able to just leave the pantry area looking like that!  I harnessed my Type-A-ness and spent several hours helping go through the thousands of dollars worth of food and supplies donated until there were no bags left unpacked and only those items that were overflow and had to be handled by the actual pantry workers remained.

I don’t tell you these stories to try and prove anything about myself, but rather to prove just how serious God is about using our time and talents.  Serving God and others isn’t limited to being in the choir or taking communion to homebound seniors… it is not restricted by the four walls of the church building.  When we open our minds to what God has in store for us, He will find new and exciting ways to use us for His glory!

“Then I heard the voice of the Lord saying, ‘Whom shall I send? And who will go for us?’  And I said, ‘Here am I.  Send me!’”  Isaiah 6:8 (NIV)

Love one another

This is a post I have put off time and again.  I have a bunch of posts drafted either on paper or in my head, however so many of them center around what God is doing in my life post-divorce that I feel like some background is needed so that those future posts will make sense.

I married an amazing man.  He was simply wonderful.  He had a personal relationship with God and sought God’s will for his life, which was one of the things that attracted me to him in the first place.  All my life I knew I wanted to marry a Christian so that I would be equally yoked, and I believed I had found that with him.  I married the person I wanted to walk with through the rest of my life, meeting all of life’s challenges and accomplishments head on together. 

But things aren’t always as they seem.

I divorced an amazing man, however this man was not amazing in the wonderful sense of the word, but rather in the realm of bewilderment.  I look back at the road we traveled and things that transpired in the time between our wedding day and our divorce day, and I can’t help but shake my head wondering how it all happened.  But then I realize that we are not meant to understand everything that occurs in this world, as the world is full of sin and corruption.  Without closely guarded hearts and minds, this sin of the world can creep into our Christ-filled lives and begin to tear us apart from the inside out, often without us even noticing until it is too late.

I have heard one of the problems some people have with Christianity is that it is just too simple… people think there must be more to guaranteeing eternal life than simply accepting Jesus as Lord and Savior.  This spirit of simplicity doesn’t stop there, but rather is carried on through other commands from God:

“Jesus answered: Love the Lord your God with all your heart, soul and mind.  This is the first and most important commandment.  The second most important commandment is like this one.  And it is, “Love others as much as you love yourself.”  Matthew 22: 37-39 (CEV)

Now I don’t know about you, but I love myself a whole lot (I think God did pretty well when he created me!), so I am commanded by God to love others a whole lot too!  We are not commanded to love only those who are lovable, when it’s convenient and doesn’t cost us anything.  We are to love everyone at all times!  In case there was some confusion as to how to put this love into practice in marriage relationships, God gave us further guidance through Paul:

“Wives should always put their husbands first, as the church puts Christ first.  A husband should love his wife as much as Christ loved the church and gave his life for it.”  Ephesians 5: 24-25 (CEV)

God gives BOTH husbands and wives commands about how to love their spouse.  It is the kind of unconditional, unselfish love that God first showed us through innocently dying on the cross so that we might be saved.  Now we are all human and all fall short of the glory of God, thus we know this will not happen 100% of the time.  The problems arose (at least for me) when this love just wasn’t present at all. 

“Love is patient, love is kind.  It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud.  It does not dishonor others, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no records of wrongs.  Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth.  It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres.  Love never fails.”  1 Corinthians 13:4-8a (NIV)

[While I use the CEV version throughout a number of my posts, I had to use the NIV here as this is just one of those classic verses!]

It took me quite awhile to be able to read Paul’s description of love without crying.  Actually, it took me awhile to be able to read it at all!  When my marriage ended, I felt like a failure, like I let God down because I was not able to keep the vows I took before Him years ago.  I felt unworthy to come before God.  I felt unlovable.  But God pointed me back to these verses, and as painful as it was, I read them… over and over and over again.  I cried for my lost marriage, however I soon also cried because that marriage did not exemplify Paul’s description of love.  I remember telling my (then) husband one time that I felt unloved.  The response I received was quite unloving, to say the least.  During the marriage I lost my hope for this kind of love, and God was now using these verses to show me just how special and amazing love should be and how much I (and all of us!) deserve. 

Once I realized there had been this broken piece to my marriage, I started to examine the relationship as a whole from a more independent perspective.  It is so hard to see the truth when we are in the midst of it all, however being out on my own allowed me to critically analyze things that were said and done during the marriage.  Through this analysis (which included the aid of a Christian counselor, my pastors and close friends/family), I realized just how un-Christ-like my ex-husband had treated me.  I don’t expect to be put up on a pedestal, but I also didn’t deserve to be lied to and manipulated in order for him to get what he wanted without giving in return.  Upon realizing this, I continued to come before God every day with my wants - asking Him to be at work in our individual lives, to fix our marriage, to heal our wounds and to bring us back together – but I also asked Him to show me His will in all this, even if the outcome was different than I thought I wanted.  After much prayer and reflection, God continued to show me the truth of the situation and what I needed to do. 

I will never deny that God hates divorce – His word makes it very clear.  God hates it when we act contrary to His perfect will in any way, shape or form.  However I also believe that God will sometimes do what He hates in order to accomplish what He loves (thank you to artist Laura Story for verbalizing that thought for me!).  As I was reviewing my old facebook status updates earlier, I noticed something striking.  The atmosphere of my posts after my ex-husband left the picture are much more God-centered and confident in Him than they were proabably for the length of our entire marriage.  While God hates divorce, this tragic event in my life has brought me back to Him in an amazing and powerful way.  My trust is in Him.  My hope is in Him.  My future is in Him.

So why did I write all this (especially since I’m not even sure I’ll ever publish this post!)?  Simply put, I do not want the fact that I am divorced to tarnish my work for the Lord in others’ eyes.  Because I believe I can stand before Him and say I did everything I could to try and save my marriage, and because divorce is a sin just like any other sin, I am once again blameless before our Lord because of the blood of Jesus.  I hope that you’ll stick with me to enjoy this ride we are now on.

Have you thanked your God today?

“This is the day the LORD has made; let us rejoice and be glad in it”. Psalm 118:24 (NASB)

Unintentionally, but maybe it’s one of those God-incidences, this is sort of a follow-up to my post from a couple weeks ago about quietness and the importance of spending time with God and His word.  But there’s another avenue in which to spend time with God that is just as important!

Last week I saw a quote on the Facebook page for “Get Stronger, Girlfriend” that has really stuck with me.  It said, “What if you woke up today with only the things you thanked God for yesterday.”  Wow!  That takes a moment to swallow.  Now while there may be some things in my life I’d rather not have so I’d be ok with God taking them away (I know, I know – what doesn’t kill us makes us stronger!), there is PLENTY in my life that I take for granted and never show my appreciation to God for such blessings!  Worse yet, there is plenty in my life that I am exceedingly thankful for, and yet I tend to overlook thanking God for them.  If I do have a daily prayer time with God, I often skip right to the “gimme” section of our time together (I’ll come back to the requests part of prayer in a second) rather than being thankful for the things I do have in my life.

“Enter his gates with thanksgiving and his courts with praise; give thanks to him and praise his name.”  Psalm 100:4 (NIV)

The first point of today’s blog – Thank and praise God for all He’s done for you!

So what about those requests we might have?  Luckily the Bible gives us some pretty easy-to-follow direction on that as well!

“In the morning, Lord, you hear my voice; in the morning I lay my requests before you and wait expectantly.”  Psalm 5:3 (NIV)

God wants us to tell Him the things we want and think we need (remember, God always knows what we actually need – we only THINK we know those things!).  I struggled with this concept because if God is an all-knowing God, shouldn’t He already know what I need and want?  Why should I have to ask Him for these things?   This question came up when I went through the membership class of a church a number of years ago.  The pastor had a simple response.  He stated that God is our heavenly father, and just like earthly parents want their children to come to them for their needs, so God wants us to acknowledge our needs before Him.  By presenting our needs before God, we are more likely to acknowledge Him when those needs are met.

“Do not be anxious about anything, but in every situation, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your requests to God.  And the peace of God, which transcends all understanding, will guard your hearts and minds in Christ Jesus.”  Philippians 4: 6-7 (NIV)

What better reason do we need to spend time in prayer?!?  The peace of God that Paul describes is unlike anything else I’ve ever experienced – and I long to sit in the peace as long as I possibly can!

Before I end – one more thought.  The following quotation is from The Christian Worker in an article titled, “Prayer or Fate?”

God in His sovereignty has ordained that human destinies may be changed by the will of man. This is at the heart of the truth that prayer changes things, meaning that God changes things when men pray. Someone has strikingly expressed it this way: “There are certain things that will happen in a man’s life whether he prays or not. There are other things that will happen if he prays, and will not happen if he does not pray.”

One never knows the influence our prayers can have in this world, and that’s a chance I’m not willing to take!  Our God is a loving God and He not only wants to spend quality time with us to enhance our relationship with Him, but He also wants to know what our deepest desires are. Don’t neglect this eternally important relationship!

Sidenote:  If you’re looking for a jumpstart on your prayer life, I HIGHLY recommend the book, “Give me 40 days” by Freeda Bowers.  I have used this book a number of times when feeling like my prayer life is in a dry spell – and it never fails to get me back to where I need to be prayer-wise.

Walking through the valley

We all have times in our lives where we seem to struggle more than celebrate.  I am coming out of one such period, driven by my marriage of only a few years ending in divorce (more on this in a later posting, but for all the Christians out there who just *gasped* that I would be getting a divorce and still talking the Christian talk – please stick with me as there is definitely more to this story!).  Recently, I met with the pastor at the church I’ve been attending.  As our conversation neared completion, he reminded me of this verse from Psalm 23, placing specific emphasis as I have below:

“Even though I walk THROUGH the valley of the shadow of death, I will fear no evil, for you are with me; your rod and your staff, they comfort me.”  Psalm 23:4 (NASB)  (emphasis mine)

His purpose in doing this was to reassure me that while I am in the midst of darkness, it is a darkness that I am only traveling through and will not be a permanent resident of.  There is an end in sight!

But that doesn’t always make the darkness easier.

There’s a common saying that God will never give us more than we can handle.  From where I’m sitting – God must think my shoulders are much stronger than I do!  There were times over the last few months where I doubted myself, however I did my best to hold onto God.  While I often thought I lacked the strength He was asking of me, I tried to be unwavering in my faith and confidence in God.  Through it all, God maintained His promise from Isaiah 41 to stand with me while I navigated the darkness.

“Don’t be afraid.  I am with you.  Don’t tremble with fear.  I am your God.  I will make you strong, as I protect you with my arm and give you victories.  I am the Lord your God.  I am holding your hand, so don’t be afraid.  I am here to help you.”  Isaiah 41: 10, 13 (CEV)

Not only did God know the strength I already possessed, He gave me even more strength to get through the darkness and provided protection along the way!

Now that I’m out of the darkness (or at least on the backside of it!) I am truly amazed at how much strength I really do have.  The darkness was not a fun place and I’m glad to have only visited it, however I am thankful for what it taught me about myself and my God.  Our God is an awesome God, and while I may not understand the path I’m on, God knows where it is leading and will help carry me there!  God’s ways are always greater than my ways!

So if you are in the midst of a struggle – please keep plugging away.  Trust God… and yourself to get through that darkness so you can enjoy the light and all God has for you waiting on the other side!

Laziness brings on quietness

So it has been awhile since I’ve last posted anything here (at least “awhile” in terms of how often I was planning to post when I started this God journal!).  The last month has been quite an interesting one for a variety of reasons.  I’d love to give some great explanation as to why I suddenly stopped writing, and while there are some legitimate reasons I was away from my computer for a bit, the main reason was just pure laziness on my part.  Not laziness with regards to wanting to write, but rather laziness in my life and connecting with God thus not having much to write about.

As I said in my first post, one reason for starting this blog was a way to capture my thoughts as to how I saw God at work in my life.  He was bringing me through a rough patch, and by fully relying on Him like I hadn’t done in quite awhile, the blessings and presence of God in my life were just overwhelming.  And then in came the devil…

It always amazes me how tricky the devil can be in convincing us that something is a good idea.  I have been working my way through the Bible again using a women’s devotional Bible where I read several chapters a day.  I’ll be honest – there are parts of the Old Testament that are a bit dry for my liking, and so I often struggle to stay motivated when I hit those books!  This was just what the devil needed to jump into my life!

As I also mentioned in my first post, I receive daily devotionals from Wisdom Hunters through the Family Christian Bookstore.  One of the devotionals they pull their emailings from is “Seeking God in the Psalms.”  I enjoyed these daily emails so much that I bought the book so I could go through all of the devotions.  Once the book arrived, I was somehow able to justify to myself that because I was now working my way through this new devotional, it was ok for me to spend less (ok, none at all) time in the Bible itself.  The devotional usually had a Bible verse or two each day – so it wasn’t like I was completely giving up on the Bible!  But then something all-too-common started to happen … I started spending less time with God and focused more on everything else.  God once again became an ancillary part of my life rather than the center of my focus.  I slowly felt myself slipping out of the realm of peace and happiness that only God can provide and felt the stresses of the world coming upon me.  I couldn’t understand why after several months of God showing me His love in all facets of my life that He would become quiet.  I then realized it wasn’t that God had quieted, but rather I had started the silent treatment with Him.  By not diving into His word daily and letting my prayer time slip to be minimally existent, I had allowed the noise of the world to take a prime place in my life so that I couldn’t see or feel God anymore.

Thankfully my conscience got the better of me, and this drought only lasted a month or so.  I’m not sure what really gave me the kick in the pants I needed to change (although I think a big part of it was actually Facebook and daily seeing comments on the Christian pages I’m subscribed to about the importance of getting into His word daily).  Thankfully I am back to where I should be…starting and ending my day with God!  And a funny thing has already happened… as I walked out of church last night, I had a smile on my face and a peace within my soul that was unexplainable from the worldly perspective as nothing has changed in my life and circumstances in the last week.  But I know it is because a change has indeed happened – one that is much deeper and cannot be seen with the human eye – I am right back where I belong…  in His hands. 

So if you are feeling like God has gone quiet, check to see if you are the one turning away from Him!  And be prepared for many new postings now that I am back!

Free will and lemonade

I’ve been thinking a lot about free will lately.  I’m very thankful for free will, as it allows me to go and do as I please rather than being played like a puppet by God.  And like most people, because of this decision-making ability, I get to deal with the consequences of those decisions (so I often think being a puppet would be easier!). 

I imagine free will causes some (or lots of) frustrations for God.  Because He’s God, I believe He can see the outcome of the different options ahead of me.  He may be at work to make the better option seem more appealing, but He won’t force my hand.  I’m not a parent (if you are one - feel free to disagree with my thought here!), however I imagine this is also similar for parents watching their children make decisions of their own.  The same is true when we’re dealing with friends.  It is so hard to sit back and know that, no matter how much I work or talk or whatever, I cannot make someone do something they don’t want to do.  I recently heard that you cannot motivate someone to do something they don’t want to do – motivation must come from within. 

Trying to gain a better understanding on the various schools of thought surrounding free will – I did what any normal person would do … I googled it!  I was taken to wikipedia’s entry for free will (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Free_will_in_theology) which contained some interesting (albeit nerdy) information that I have been chewing on.  The big debate I found is reconciling the presence of free will with God’s foreknowledge of events.   I know there are very divergent views on how much of our life God has planned vs. how much is open to changes based on our decisions (and by no means will I try to solve that big debate here) but then I found a quote that seemed to tie it together:

“For you will certainly carry out God’s purpose, however you act, but it makes a difference to you whether you serve like Judas or like John.”   C.S. Lewis (The Problem of Pain)

While not the heaven-breathed word of God, C.S. Lewis seemed to hit it spot on for me.  God has a plan for each of us.  We are not given the details or roadmap for that plan ahead of time, but rather must feel our way as we go.  God will bring many people in and through our lives to aid us in getting where God wants us to be.  Sometimes these people will be positive influences, doing the good work of God and helping us on our way.  Other times these people will be not such positive influences, however just as God used Judas to complete His plan of salvation for us, He will use these people to continue pushing us down the path.

I said at the beginning that I am thankful for free will because of the freedom it gives me, and at the start of writing this I was thinking that I’m not a fan of others having this free will when it negatively impacts my life (it’d be so much easier if God could just make the right things happen and help us avoid any pain).  But God has a plan for each of us – and He will not be deterred (He is God after all!).  God is the ultimate inventor and the first one to turn lemons into lemonade.  The goal for me individually is to ensure I am not growing any lemons for God, but rather am serving as John rather than Judas.

God wants us

“For it is by grace you have been saved, through faith – and this is not from yourselves, it is the gift of God – not by works, so that no one can boast.  For we are God’s handiwork, created in Christ Jesus to do good works, which God prepared in advance for us to do.”  Ephesians 2: 8-10 (NIV)

We’re all familiar with Luke’s account of Jesus’ visit to the home of Martha and Mary, and I think it is easy to relate to this story (I know I have found myself playing the role of either Mary or Martha many times!).  Martha was a worker bee, and during His visit she couldn’t take her mind off of all the work left undone.  Mary saw the beauty and importance in this visit, and thus she stopped what she was doing in order to sit at His feet and hear Him speak.  Mary wasn’t wrong for wanting to do her work, but rather she was wrong for putting that work ahead of spending quality time with Jesus.

I like to keep on the go – grandma always said, “Idle hands are the devil’s playground,” or something like that!  I struggle with quiet times and meditating – my mind starts wandering towards the other things I could be doing with my time (and yes, I believe this is the devil working to break up my time with God).   But just like marriages don’t survive when one spouse spends all his/her time at work to make money “for the family” - our relationship with God will suffer when we are always focused on “doing” for Jesus rather than trying to just be like Jesus.

(Before I go any further – I fully acknowledge the importance of doing work in this kingdom for God and am not trying to skirt our responsibility in this area.  Doing the work of God is part of our calling … part of our mission.  James 2:26 states, “Anyone who doesn’t breathe is dead, and faith that doesn’t do anything is just as dead!” (CEV))

God made it very clear that He is our God and we are to worship only Him.  We are not to have any idols.  I don’t know about you, but when I hear the word “idolatry,” I immediately think of the golden calf from the Old Testament or money, fame, sex and power (none of which are sinful by themselves but are when they become idolized) … but it is so much more than that.  One definition Merriam-Webster provides for Idolatry is, “immoderate attachment or devotion to something.”  Based on this, what idols are there lurking in our lives that we either ignore or justify away?

Here’s the kicker that I recently realized – church things can be included on this list.  By being more focused on our role and activities within the church rather than on worshipping and nurturing our relationship with our Lord, we have just created an idol out of church.  We should want to be involved in our church and do these things as a way to serve God, however just because the activity is “God-related” doesn’t make it ok.  Satan has a way to infiltrate every part of our lives and take our devotion away from God, so we need to be ever-mindful that we are continuing to keep our eyes on Jesus – even when we’re playing church!  I had to learn that it’s ok to say “no” once in awhile, especially when I don’t feel like the request is something that would help me grown in my relationship with God.  Saying no gives me the chance to sit back and see God in all His glory!  More than our busy hands, God wants us!

The reality of abuse

Mark Brown, contributor to the Facebook page “The Bible” does not shy away from important and sometimes controversial topics.  In his post here, he talks about abuse in relationships.  Mark does a great job of both describing the different types of abuse as well as what one should do if they find themselves in an abusive relationship.

My only add-on to the article is this: Abuse is very real, even in Christian relationships.  Oftentimes (especially in cases of non-physical abuse) the one being abused does not know just how bad the situation is until they are away from it and able to look at the bigger picture of the relationship and how it is functioning.  Keep your eyes open – both for yourself and your loved ones, and seek the help of a pastor or counselor if you believe you or someone you love is being abused.